1. Mickey Avalon - My Dick ft. Dirt Nasty & Andre Legacy
2. 50 Cent - Amusement Park
3. Mark Ronson - Stop Me (Kissy Sell Out Remix)
4. Kate Nash - Dickhead
5. R. Kelly - Rise Up
6. Foxy Brown - Candy ft. Kelis
7. Fergie - Glamorous (Space Cowboy Remix)
8. Miss Odd Kid - Weed, Wine + Wankers (Sluttt Remix)
9. Hands Of God - Cryptonites
10. Alvy Singers - Melmac
11. Armand Van Helden - NYC Beat
12. Cashmere - Rainbow Bitches
13. Klaxons - Gravity's Rainbow (GnB Remix)
14. Surkin - And You Too (DJ Slugo remix)
15. Fuzzz - The Monk
16. Onira - Xiao Xiao
17. Shitdisco - OK (Acid Girls Remix)
18. SebastiAn - Ross Ross Ross
'Real boss n*ggas do real boss things' is a lyric from T.I.'s verse on the superb Make It Rain (Remix). That song does not appear on this compilation so as to what may have possessed me to name the disc that, I cannot speak. It was a long time ago. Mid 2007 roughly. R, Kelly makes an appearance here as he does on Make It Rain, maybe that was it. Tenuous. There is literally no other connection to that verse or song that I can see. Maybe it's in the music? Or maybe I was just listening to it when I was trying to think of what to name the mix. That seems more likely. I guess I'll find out...
See, unlike the World Famous CD-R, I don't remember two thirds or more of this mix looking at the tracklist. I'm a little worried it's going to be horrible. At least it has Candy by Foxy Brown and Kelis in there, that's a good old school Neptunes beat for sure. I also still have a lot of time for NYC Beat and the rest of Armand Van Helden's Ghettoblaster record. It remains a summer staple round my way. And Mickey Avalon's ridiculous My Dick is still good for a giggle. As for the rest, I recognize a lot of the names and some of the song titles, some I vaguely remember liking but not much else about them. I'm gonna hit play now...
'My dick don't need no introduction/Your dick don't even function', I may be incredibly childish but 8 years later and I still laugh my ass off as Mickey, Dirt and Andre trade bars about how awesome their dicks are. Especially when they name drop Macauley Culkin and reference the Munchkins and the refrain where the claim to have 'dicks like Jesus', whatever that means. This is another track that I'd often play at The Scottish Hobo Society and usually it went down a treat. I can still remember pretty much every punchline, on the other hand Amusement Park by 50 Cent I'd forgotten even existed. Apparently it was a single, had a video and everything. Who on earth thought that was a good idea? It is extraordinary in only how spectacularly unmemorable it is.
Now, next up is a Kissy Sell Out remix of a Mark Ronson cover I don't remember of a Smiths song I don't really like. And I'll tell you what; it's okay. Kissy Sell Out make me think of Palms Out Sounds, a now defunct music blog that was dedicated to sharing all the newest electro remixes with the world. The only place I could possibly have come across such a remix. For some reason that site is tied in my brain to my old pal Nick Stewart, owner of Sneaky Pete's club in Edinburgh and DJ around town. I guess we used to discuss their posts whenever he was in The Southern for his coffee. I miss the Sunday Remix zips too.
A very weird demo-ish sounding version of Kate Nash's track Dickhead has shown up next. Not sure where it came from. It's really minimal, just some piano and vocals. It's not very good, but then I'd say the same for pretty much anything she did, final studio version or otherwise. Anyway, it's followed up by R. Kelly's tribute to the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre. It's not his finest moment but still it has an epic sub-I Believe I Can Fly feel to it.
Finding Kelis on the hook was not an uncommon thing when it came to Neptunes produced tracks between 1999 and 2005. This one; Candy by a typically fierce Foxy Brown came out in 2001. I don't think I heard it until probably around 2003/4 when my Neptunes obsession really kicked into gear and I was discovering a whole host of obscure tracks they were responsible for via theneptunes.org fan forum. Again, not one of their best works but it still knocks and obviously it was back in rotation when I made this mix.
At track number 7 is a remix of Fergie's Glamorous single by Space Cowboy? Me either. It sounds like a lot of post-Fatboy Slim remixes often did. It's not terrible. Neither is his remix of Gaga's Just Dance.
See, unlike the World Famous CD-R, I don't remember two thirds or more of this mix looking at the tracklist. I'm a little worried it's going to be horrible. At least it has Candy by Foxy Brown and Kelis in there, that's a good old school Neptunes beat for sure. I also still have a lot of time for NYC Beat and the rest of Armand Van Helden's Ghettoblaster record. It remains a summer staple round my way. And Mickey Avalon's ridiculous My Dick is still good for a giggle. As for the rest, I recognize a lot of the names and some of the song titles, some I vaguely remember liking but not much else about them. I'm gonna hit play now...
'My dick don't need no introduction/Your dick don't even function', I may be incredibly childish but 8 years later and I still laugh my ass off as Mickey, Dirt and Andre trade bars about how awesome their dicks are. Especially when they name drop Macauley Culkin and reference the Munchkins and the refrain where the claim to have 'dicks like Jesus', whatever that means. This is another track that I'd often play at The Scottish Hobo Society and usually it went down a treat. I can still remember pretty much every punchline, on the other hand Amusement Park by 50 Cent I'd forgotten even existed. Apparently it was a single, had a video and everything. Who on earth thought that was a good idea? It is extraordinary in only how spectacularly unmemorable it is.
Now, next up is a Kissy Sell Out remix of a Mark Ronson cover I don't remember of a Smiths song I don't really like. And I'll tell you what; it's okay. Kissy Sell Out make me think of Palms Out Sounds, a now defunct music blog that was dedicated to sharing all the newest electro remixes with the world. The only place I could possibly have come across such a remix. For some reason that site is tied in my brain to my old pal Nick Stewart, owner of Sneaky Pete's club in Edinburgh and DJ around town. I guess we used to discuss their posts whenever he was in The Southern for his coffee. I miss the Sunday Remix zips too.
A very weird demo-ish sounding version of Kate Nash's track Dickhead has shown up next. Not sure where it came from. It's really minimal, just some piano and vocals. It's not very good, but then I'd say the same for pretty much anything she did, final studio version or otherwise. Anyway, it's followed up by R. Kelly's tribute to the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre. It's not his finest moment but still it has an epic sub-I Believe I Can Fly feel to it.
Finding Kelis on the hook was not an uncommon thing when it came to Neptunes produced tracks between 1999 and 2005. This one; Candy by a typically fierce Foxy Brown came out in 2001. I don't think I heard it until probably around 2003/4 when my Neptunes obsession really kicked into gear and I was discovering a whole host of obscure tracks they were responsible for via theneptunes.org fan forum. Again, not one of their best works but it still knocks and obviously it was back in rotation when I made this mix.
At track number 7 is a remix of Fergie's Glamorous single by Space Cowboy? Me either. It sounds like a lot of post-Fatboy Slim remixes often did. It's not terrible. Neither is his remix of Gaga's Just Dance.
When I put Miss Odd Kidd - Weed Wine Wankers into YouTube the top hit was for the Sluttt Bust In UR Face Remix that is on this disc. I guess this is the definitive version of this song. It's a bit annoying if I'm honest. The other songs I've found by her are annoying too. Didn't need reminding of her, she's shit.
At least Hand Of Gods - Cryptonite is... *sigh*... This is shit too. I cross my fingers and skip to the next one; Alvy Singers - Melmac. Funny thing about this is that I guess I must have downloaded this while looking for songs by an old friend of mine, Voe. He was once in a band called The Alvy Singers, which is a great name for a band. For those that don't recognize it; Alvy Singer was the name of Woody Allen's protagonist in Annie Hall. Anyway Voe was once in a band of that name and I do own a 7-inch by them though I'm not sure where it can be located now. I'd lost touch with old Voe by this point and was interested to see if any of his material had made it on to the web. It hadn't. This song is by some other guy or band or whatever. It sounds kinda chiptune-y. It's quite nice actually. Like it could be from a Zelda game or something. Weirdly, when I Shazam'd it to make sure I had the right track name it came back with a different answers each time I did it, which was 8, so I guess it's some kind of Girl Talk-type of mash up thing or it just sounds really like these other songs at different points in its running time. In case you're interested the 8 Shazam results were 1) The Edwin Davids Jazz Band - The Theme From Alf (obviously this is where the tracks title came from) 2) Chriss Ortega - Love Is Here (Mario Ochoa Remix) 3) Gods Tower - The Eerie 4) Claudio Colombo - Sonata K. 423 In C Major 5) Big Skapinsky - Open Your Eyes 6) Oelki - Galileo 7) The Bethels - Tranquility and 8) Giacomo Tosi - Flurry. But I'm sure no one gives a shit.
Absolute belter NYC Beat is up next. It's got Daisy Lowe in the video. I was so in love with Daisy back then. Ghettoblaster, the Armand Van Helden album this is from really is killer, filled with summer jams like I Want Your Soul with it's dope old-school video directed by Vashtie Kola and Touch Your Toes which features Fat Joe of all people.
Unfortunately it's followed on this mix by some horrible number called Rainbow Bitches by someone called Cashmere. At least that's what I think it's called. This is another track that I can't seem to find any trace of online. Regardless, it sucks. Really bad. It sounds like something Noel Fielding's character in Nathan Barley would drop just as you wake up from the worst nightmare you ever had. I tried to Shazam this one too and Shazam wanted nothing to do with it. Which is fair enough. Why I thought it was worth including in any mix instead of being instantly deleted is beyond me. Yuck.
Slightly better, but not much is the Guns N Bombs remix of Gravity's Rainbow by Klaxons. It starts off fine, just your typical electro remix of a Klaxon's song of which there were approximately 3 billion being posted every day in 2007, but at 6.18 minutes it is just way too long. I'd lost interest by the third minute and by the fifth it was really starting to annoy me. Next!
The next 4 tracks continue on the Palms Out Sounds path that the disc has very much wandered down and gotten lost. First is the Surkin track And You Too as remixed by DJ Slugo and it is really boring with it's monotonous beat and repeated lyric about strippers. Fuzzz - The Monk is a little less bland or irritating but just like the last few tracks makes me think of something that'd get thrown on early at White Heat or The Goulag Beat or at I Fly Spitfires or Dogtooth or one of the many other Indie-Electro nights that were rife at the time in Edinburgh, before the fashionably late cool crew had shown up and the DJ didn't want to waste their 'good' remixes. It's got a few playful synth lines and a decent beat. Inoffensive stuff. Similarly the guitar part at the start of Onira's Xiao Xiao is fun and stays fun when it get's all chopped up goes full dancey-indie-electro. It's jagged and abrasive but it has personality. I quite like it still. And then there is Shitdisco. Shitdisco were everywhere with their dance-punk jams in Scotland in the mid to late 2000's. An Acid Girl remix of their OK tune is really in keeping with the aesthetic that this mix has conformed to. True to it's title and lyrics it's ok.
The last track on this one is by SebastiAn at what would have been very near the peak interest point of French electronic music label Ed Banger Records popularity in Scotland. For me this really was a fun time in music but it hasn't aged that well for me. It was like a second wave after the fun of the electroclash scene popularised by International DeeJay Gigolo Records. Big, silly, over the top, colourful, cartoony dance numbers. There are still a bunch of records from the Ed Banger era that I love, Ross Ross Ross though is not one I have any particularly deep affection for. It still has miles more joy and vitality and character than the previous 4 songs on this mix though.
A great compilation this was not, it sounds a bit thrown together, with a few songs that really just seem to be there to make up the numbers. I think that is the reason I couldn't remember most of the tracks on it. I must have played it only a few times. Somehow I have still managed to ramble on about it for about 1700 words. The next one will be better, I hope.
At least now the reason for the discs title is still clear as mud.
At least Hand Of Gods - Cryptonite is... *sigh*... This is shit too. I cross my fingers and skip to the next one; Alvy Singers - Melmac. Funny thing about this is that I guess I must have downloaded this while looking for songs by an old friend of mine, Voe. He was once in a band called The Alvy Singers, which is a great name for a band. For those that don't recognize it; Alvy Singer was the name of Woody Allen's protagonist in Annie Hall. Anyway Voe was once in a band of that name and I do own a 7-inch by them though I'm not sure where it can be located now. I'd lost touch with old Voe by this point and was interested to see if any of his material had made it on to the web. It hadn't. This song is by some other guy or band or whatever. It sounds kinda chiptune-y. It's quite nice actually. Like it could be from a Zelda game or something. Weirdly, when I Shazam'd it to make sure I had the right track name it came back with a different answers each time I did it, which was 8, so I guess it's some kind of Girl Talk-type of mash up thing or it just sounds really like these other songs at different points in its running time. In case you're interested the 8 Shazam results were 1) The Edwin Davids Jazz Band - The Theme From Alf (obviously this is where the tracks title came from) 2) Chriss Ortega - Love Is Here (Mario Ochoa Remix) 3) Gods Tower - The Eerie 4) Claudio Colombo - Sonata K. 423 In C Major 5) Big Skapinsky - Open Your Eyes 6) Oelki - Galileo 7) The Bethels - Tranquility and 8) Giacomo Tosi - Flurry. But I'm sure no one gives a shit.
Absolute belter NYC Beat is up next. It's got Daisy Lowe in the video. I was so in love with Daisy back then. Ghettoblaster, the Armand Van Helden album this is from really is killer, filled with summer jams like I Want Your Soul with it's dope old-school video directed by Vashtie Kola and Touch Your Toes which features Fat Joe of all people.
Unfortunately it's followed on this mix by some horrible number called Rainbow Bitches by someone called Cashmere. At least that's what I think it's called. This is another track that I can't seem to find any trace of online. Regardless, it sucks. Really bad. It sounds like something Noel Fielding's character in Nathan Barley would drop just as you wake up from the worst nightmare you ever had. I tried to Shazam this one too and Shazam wanted nothing to do with it. Which is fair enough. Why I thought it was worth including in any mix instead of being instantly deleted is beyond me. Yuck.
Slightly better, but not much is the Guns N Bombs remix of Gravity's Rainbow by Klaxons. It starts off fine, just your typical electro remix of a Klaxon's song of which there were approximately 3 billion being posted every day in 2007, but at 6.18 minutes it is just way too long. I'd lost interest by the third minute and by the fifth it was really starting to annoy me. Next!
The next 4 tracks continue on the Palms Out Sounds path that the disc has very much wandered down and gotten lost. First is the Surkin track And You Too as remixed by DJ Slugo and it is really boring with it's monotonous beat and repeated lyric about strippers. Fuzzz - The Monk is a little less bland or irritating but just like the last few tracks makes me think of something that'd get thrown on early at White Heat or The Goulag Beat or at I Fly Spitfires or Dogtooth or one of the many other Indie-Electro nights that were rife at the time in Edinburgh, before the fashionably late cool crew had shown up and the DJ didn't want to waste their 'good' remixes. It's got a few playful synth lines and a decent beat. Inoffensive stuff. Similarly the guitar part at the start of Onira's Xiao Xiao is fun and stays fun when it get's all chopped up goes full dancey-indie-electro. It's jagged and abrasive but it has personality. I quite like it still. And then there is Shitdisco. Shitdisco were everywhere with their dance-punk jams in Scotland in the mid to late 2000's. An Acid Girl remix of their OK tune is really in keeping with the aesthetic that this mix has conformed to. True to it's title and lyrics it's ok.
The last track on this one is by SebastiAn at what would have been very near the peak interest point of French electronic music label Ed Banger Records popularity in Scotland. For me this really was a fun time in music but it hasn't aged that well for me. It was like a second wave after the fun of the electroclash scene popularised by International DeeJay Gigolo Records. Big, silly, over the top, colourful, cartoony dance numbers. There are still a bunch of records from the Ed Banger era that I love, Ross Ross Ross though is not one I have any particularly deep affection for. It still has miles more joy and vitality and character than the previous 4 songs on this mix though.
A great compilation this was not, it sounds a bit thrown together, with a few songs that really just seem to be there to make up the numbers. I think that is the reason I couldn't remember most of the tracks on it. I must have played it only a few times. Somehow I have still managed to ramble on about it for about 1700 words. The next one will be better, I hope.
At least now the reason for the discs title is still clear as mud.
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